


Trust

by knitekat



Series: Trust [1]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 22:04:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1485694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knitekat/pseuds/knitekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan and Lester spend Christmas together and old wounds are re-opened and healed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fredbassett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/gifts).



> Secret Santa for Fredbasset back in 2009. 
> 
> Beta-ed by Lukadreaming.

Ryan woke slowly and stretched luxuriously, wincing as his abused muscles protested. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Ryan wondered momentarily where he was, as the room didn't look familiar. Then memory returned – after the last few manic weeks they had just endured, James had whisked him off to his cottage to spend Christmas.

Just the two of them. It had been somewhat of a surprise. Ryan couldn't think of many wives who would kick their husband out to be with their lover over Christmas, and then invite that lover to the family's New Year dinner. James' marriage still confused Ryan even after several months; all Ryan knew was that if he'd tried that when he was still married it would not have been pretty.

Not that Ryan was complaining about spending time with James, except that his lover wasn't still in bed with him and James' side of the bed held no trace of his welcome warmth.

Just what time was it anyway for his lover to be up and about? Groaning softy as he moved, Ryan grabbed his watch. “Shit!” He never slept this late. The last weeks must really have taken it out of him – that and the long, slow and thorough fuck he had received from James the previous night.

Ryan wondered where the man had got to. He would have expected James to have still been in bed; it normally took at least two cups of coffee for Ryan to have a chance of getting James out of bed in the morning when he wasn't going to work. Using his highly-trained listening skills, Ryan could hear James moving about, sounding rather too active for someone on holiday.

Ryan groaned as he dragged his aching body out of bed. Maybe he should ask James for a massage? Of course, Ryan would have to find James first, so he reluctantly pulled on his robe and limped off to track his lover down.

Following the sounds and then the lovely smells led Ryan to the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway to watch his lover, impeccably dressed as ever, even if he had 'dressed down' in a shirt and jeans rather than his normal suit.

Ryan leant against the door and just smiled as he watched James pottering around in the kitchen cooking their Christmas dinner. James was a brilliant cook; what Ryan's mother would have referred to as a good catch. In Ryan's opinion James was a catch in more than one way.

Ryan bit back a moan as James bent over to open the oven, the tight denim stretched enticingly over his lovely arse. Then Ryan's stomach interrupted his thoughts as it rumbled distractingly at the smell wafting from the tray James had just pulled out.

James sounded amused as he commented, “I should have known your stomach would finally get you up, lazy-bones.” He quickly basted the turkey and potatoes before bending over again to put them back in to finish cooking. “Be another couple of hours so you'd better grab a snack.”

Ryan was hungry, but not for food, and he pulled James hard against him, kissing him and grinding his erection into James' groin. “I wonder what we could do until then?”

Ryan moaned when James pushed back, feeling his lover's growing hardness press against him.

“I can think of something.” James pulled free of Ryan and held out a hand. “Coming, Tom?”

“Oh, I plan to, love.”

Kissing as they moved to the bedroom, Ryan threw off his robe and lay on the bed, where he played with his cock as he waited for James to join him.

A frustrated growl from James refocused Ryan's attention on his lover. Ryan couldn't help smiling as his lover fought to free himself from his jeans.

“You're asking for it.”

Ryan grinned as he opened his legs wider and let his fingers drift backwards between them to play with his hole, “And I always get it.”

Ryan smiled when James growled as he finally freed his erection and yanked his jeans and boxers off. A frustrated lover meant Ryan would get a hard pounding fuck – just the way he liked it.

He gave a surprised grunt when James pounced on him, though Ryan opened his mouth eagerly when James kissed him hard and demanded entrance. His tongue swept over Ryan's teeth and duelled with his tongue.

When Ryan ran his hands over James' back and down to knead his arse, his lover gasped and nipped his nose. “Patience is a virtual, Tom.”

“Fuck patience.”

“What, instead of you?”

Before Ryan could reply James grabbed the lube and coated his fingers. Ryan gave a squawk as James swallowed him to the hilt, sliding up and down a few times before he paused to tease the slit. Ryan groaned, “Yes. Please, love.” Ryan cursed and bucked as he felt James thrust two fingers roughly into him, stretching and stroking him until Ryan thought he'd explode.

The sudden removal of both mouth and fingers left Ryan bereft. Then he yelled as James drove his cock in balls-deep without warning.

Ryan wrapped his legs around his lover's waist. It always felt so good to have his lover inside him, every single time. For James always remained in control during sex, always on top. Ryan put it down to his lover's control freak nature, but he always felt James missed out on not giving that control up sometimes. Ryan would love to fuck James' firm arse just once, but his lover never bottomed. It was a pity as Ryan felt James would love being fucked through the mattress – he always enjoyed it when James did that to him.

Ryan's thoughts scattered when James skewered his prostate. “You are thinking too loudly, Tom.”

Ryan could do little except ride out the pounding James was giving him. The moans that dropped from Ryan's lips would not have been out of place in a porn movie. It felt like pure bliss to have James take him hard and fast.

Ryan squeezed around James and threw his head back as his lover seemed to stab at his prostate with each thrust. The need to come was almost painful and as James viciously skewered him right through his sweet spot, Ryan screamed and blacked out as he came, pulsing over their bellies.

Ryan knew he could only have been out for moments, for as he became aware again he could feel James chasing his own orgasm, until, with a gasp, James was emptying himself deep within Ryan and collapsed on top of him, panting.

Ryan ran a hand over his lover's back as he gasped. “My very own naked chef.”

When James shifted so he could kiss Ryan, Ryan winced as the movement caused the spent cock to slide from his body.

“You OK, Tom?”

“Fucking brilliant.”

“Oh good.”

Ryan raised a worried eyebrow at his lover's comment, especially when he noticed James look thoughtfully at the clock. He knew he was right to be concerned when James grinned and said, “Round two?”

Ryan groaned. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“And there I was thinking you were a big, strong and tough soldier.”

Ryan groaned softly. “Don't think I'll be up to much for a while.”

“Same here, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun.” James licked and nibbled Ryan's earlobe before he dropped lower.

Ryan soon found himself moaning as James' lips, teeth and tongue found all of his sensitive places. Ryan sighed as he felt James lathe one of his nipples, before biting it lightly. He could feel his cock start to take an interest in the proceedings, and felt James' half-hard cock rub against him. Ryan gasped - he was certain his lover was trying to kill him, but couldn't think of a better way to go than being fucked by James.

Ryan tangled his fingers through his lover's hair as he tried to encourage James lower. He could feel James' chuckle against his skin and the exhale of air over his wet nipple had his hips rising of their own accord. “God, James. Feels so good.”

James didn't answer. He merely continued to lick and nibble down Ryan's body, his tongue swirling in Ryan's belly button before he followed the trail of hair downwards to where Ryan wanted him.

Ryan moaned as he felt James' mouth leave him and he managed to lift his head to look into the desire-darkened eyes of his grinning lover.

“Roll over, love”

Ryan didn't even hesitate before turning over onto his belly and spreading his legs wide. He moaned softly as he felt James settle between them.

Ryan felt James spread his cheeks and lick a strip along his crack before blowing along it. Ryan couldn't repress his needy little moan or the trembling his lover was evoking with his actions. When James licked around his arse before pressing his tongue against his opening, Ryan almost forget to breath. Ryan could feel James lapping his own come from him, his tongue probing inside Ryan as it seemed to chase every single bit. Ryan couldn't stop himself pushing back against James as his lover slid his tongue in and out of him. Ryan whimpered, but would always deny he had, when he felt James press a finger inside of him, searching and finding Ryan's hard little nub.

Ryan soon found himself begging James to fuck him, to fuck him now. James obliviously agreed, as Ryan found himself impaled and without a chance to adjust as James proceeded to pound him through the mattress.

Ryan shoved back to meet each thrust and squeezed around his lover's cock. It didn't take long before he cried out as he came, making sure he clamped down hard on James as he thrust through Ryan's orgasm. Collapsing on top of Ryan afterwards, James nuzzled his neck as he panted for breath.

Ryan winced slightly when James pulled out, before laughing softly. “I think I might be standing up to eat.”

Smirking in satisfaction, James spared a quick glance at the clock. “Come on. We've just got time to clean up.”

Ryan groaned softly as his lover walked towards the bathroom, knowing James was swaying his hips deliberately. Ryan flopped back on the bed, though, still too boneless from his orgasms to want to move yet.

***

Ryan came fully aware with a start as something soaking wet landed on his face. He spluttered and threw the wet towel back at his lover. “Very funny, love.”

James caught the towel with a grin. “Get up, lazy-bones, you've ten minutes until dinner.”

The thought of James' cooking got Ryan showered and dressed in five minutes. His stampede down the stairs earned him a raised eyebrow from his lover. Ryan grinned back. He knew James knew he loved his cooking ... as the growl from his stomach proved.

***

As Ryan sipped his beer he leant back contented and pleasantly full from the meal. “Fabulous as ever, love.”

James grinned back, “Good. You can load the dishwasher.” At Ryan's disappointed look, he continued with a waggled eyebrow. “Don't be long, love, I'll be waiting.”

Ryan muttered under his breath as he cleared the table. Though he supposed it was fair that he did so after all, James had cooked a truly wonderful meal.

Not that it meant he couldn't complain about it. Ryan was sure that he could convince James to make it up to him. He couldn't think of anything better than having James fuck him again. Ryan moaned softly as his cock started to harden at that thought.

Ryan sped up his rinsing of dishes and shoved them into the dishwasher, his trousers becoming constrictive enough that bending over caused him to curse. James was going to pay for putting him through this.

Casting a final quick glance around the kitchen, Ryan decided it was tidy enough for now and it was time to rejoin James.

Ryan grinned at the sight of his dozing lover, for once sprawled out on the settee as he relaxed. He crept up quietly on James and couldn't help but smile as he learnt in to kiss him. “Shove over.”

***

James moaned softly as he sleepily moved over, feeling Ryan wiggle about until James could rest his head on his lover's chest. James mumbled appreciatively as Ryan's fingers stroked through his hair.

Nuzzling against Ryan, James' lips found and teased a nipple through Ryan's t-shirt and heard his gasp. James moaned as he felt Ryan's hands firmly stroke down his back and he arched into his lover's touch.

James' breathing increased when his arse was fondled and squeezed and a hand slipped between his legs. He panicked as he fought for freedom, squirming and struggling to escape those imprisoning arms. James started to hyperventilate as that touch brought back memories.

_The fist driven into James' stomach had him on his knees, gasping for breath. More punches and kicks left James curled up as he tried to protect himself. Hands yanked down his jeans and boxers and a hand squeezed his cock._

“Fucking slut. You're just gagging for it. Knew you were a bloody cock tease.”

James began to struggle when the blunt cock pressed against him. He was held down and could only scream as it pushed relentlessly inside of him, hard and unforgiving.

As the cock drove repeatedly into James it felt like it was tearing him apart as it caught on his flesh. Its passage was soon eased by something dripping out of James' arse and down his thighs, and the sweet, heavy tang of blood filled James' nostrils.

“You're fucking tight, slut. Feels so fucking good.”

James could only attempted to ride out the pain as the man thrust harder and harder, until he came, spurting inside of James. James thought the worst was over, but the rough withdrawal had him crying out in agony.

“Not a bad fuck, who wants to try him out?

Everything merged into one long nightmare. The pain as they shoved inside him, their heavy weight pinning him down and their harsh grunts as they fucked him, the crude comments from those watching. James tried to block it all out. This wasn't happening. It wasn't.

James slowly became aware that Ryan was holding him, calling his name, sounding so bloody concerned and scared for him. James couldn't stop sobbing and felt Ryan hug him tighter, mumbling unheard words in his ear.

Slowly calming, James felt Ryan carefully rub his back, but only the top, obviously concerned that he might spark another panic attack. James wasn't sure he wouldn't panic and he had no idea how he would react if Ryan's hands moved lower.

James slowly realised that it was only Ryan's grip on him that had saved him from a painful head-first encounter with the floor. If Ryan's reflexes had been any slower ... He slumped against Ryan as his breathing returned to normal and shook his head to try to dispel the memory James thought – hoped - he had long since forgotten.

Ryan's voice was full of concern when he asked. “James?”

James just rested his head against Ryan's shoulder and let him comfort him. He took several deep calming breaths before slowly saying. “I'm sorry, Tom,” and moving to pull out of Ryan's arms.

Arms tugged James back against his lover, and he felt Ryan kiss his hair. “Please, James. Tell me what's wrong. Please, love, let me help.”

James let his eyes close for a moment. Could he tell Ryan what was wrong? He trusted Ryan with his life, but with this?

James knew he had not handled the rape well and he had in fact gone off the rails. One-night anonymous fucks in clubs was not a healthy lifestyle, and had even threatened his career. Not that he had realised that until a colleague had sat him down and told him. James owned Karen his life and his sanity. She had been the first person he had ever told and she had never pushed him for more information than he was willing to give. She had always been there to hold him. They had settled first into a friendship and then into a marriage of convenience. But the moment James had held their first child in his arms was when he fell in love with Karen. Karen understood him, she didn't even mind when he occasionally relapsed and scratched his itch, so long as he was careful.

Ryan was different, though. He was not some stranger to fuck once and forget, he was a colleague. James remembered the first time he had seen Ryan, and the sight of that muscular body and handsome face had stirred James' desire. Finding out the man was intelligent and witty had been welcome – James did so hate a dull lover.

Having caught a few admiring glances thrown his way, James knew Ryan found him attractive. But it took a long time for James to let Ryan through his barriers, and then only because Karen had found out about him. She told James that he would always wonder about being with Ryan if he didn't give Ryan a chance. James remembered her words, “Damn it, James. If you can trust him with your life, why can't you trust him not to hurt you?”

James had been pleasantly surprised to discover that Ryan hadn't given up on him. Instead, he'd given James time to think. Learning that had encouraged James to take a chance then, but could he now take another chance?

He licked his lips, “I ...” James' voice cracked alarmingly to his own ears and, as he felt Ryan's arms cradle him, James drew strength from his lover's solid presence. “I was remembering. When you touched me like that ...” He paused to swallow, his mouth suddenly dry as he spoke of what he had never revealed before. James closed his eyes as he buried his face against Ryan, his words muffled but still audible. “I was raped.” He heard Ryan's sharp intake of breath and rushed on, now he had started to talk, James had to finish. “I was a fucking idiot. Why did I ever think he loved me? I was going to let him fuck me, I went there to tell him. I wanted him to be my first. Why couldn't he wait? Why did he have to rape me?” James uttered a harsh sound, almost laughter, “It hurt so fucking much when he, when they ...” James broke down in Ryan's arms.

James felt Ryan hug him close, rubbing his back until James quietened down into snuffles. Once James had calmed somewhat, he heard Ryan's soft voice. ““I never thought ... oh, James, I'm so sorry.”

James sighed softly. “You didn't know. I thought I was over the panic attacks and flashbacks. I should be over them, it was years ago.”

James felt Ryan kiss and nuzzle against him, obviously trying to provide him with comfort, and he felt safe in Ryan's arms.

James felt as if a weight had finally been lifted from him by his admission to Ryan. Sighing softly as he felt Ryan press kisses against his hair, James made a decision, one he hoped Ryan would agree to. He wasn't sure he would be able to ever suggest it again. “Tom? ...”

“Yes, love?”

“Make love to me.”

“James?”

“Tom. I want you to. I need you to. Show me how good it can feel.”

Ryan's lips gently pressed against James' forehead, “Maybe another day, James. I ... we don't need to rush into anything.”

James almost growled with frustration, he hadn't thought he'd have to convince Ryan to fuck him. “Tom! I know what I'm asking for. What I'm asking you to do. I want you to fuck me. Now!”

“Do you? Please James. Your only experience of being fucked was when you were ...” Ryan cut himself off rather sharply.

James snorted, “When I was raped. I know that. Please, Tom. You're the only one I trust to do this. I trust you, Tom. Not to hurt me but to make love to me. I want you to ... I need you to.”

Ryan sighed softly and James felt the twin emotions of success and fear struggle for dominance as he waited for Ryan to reply.

“Please, Tom. I want you to be my first. The first man to make love to me.” James noticed Ryan seem to waver, “Please, Tom. Don't make me beg.”

“If you're sure ...” Ryan nudged his lover. “Let's go upstairs. It will be more comfortable.”

James found himself smiling at his lover's painfully obvious plan. He pulled Ryan in for a kiss. “I'm not going to change my mind, Tom. I know what I'm asking for.”

It seemed to take forever and yet in no time at all James was standing in their bedroom, by their bed, completely naked. James felt himself tremble at what was about to happen and had to use all his willpower not to run away. Ryan kept quiet, though James noticed he shot him more than a few concerned glances. His lover clearly did not want to disrupt James' thoughts. James almost laughed at that – he'd give anything to not think about what he was about to do.

Swallowing his fear, James took a deep breath before clambering on to their bed. He turned on to his belly and spread his legs, his head pillowed in his arms. James could feel the tension in his muscles. _Fuck, this is really going to hurt if I don't relax._

James heard Ryan moving around the room, heard him pause and then heard his breath hitch. James knew Ryan was looking at him and he squirmed, feeling so bloody vulnerable.

When Ryan spoke his voice was soft and in awe. “God, James. You are so bloody strong.” James flinched slightly when Ryan squeezed his shoulder. “We don't have to do this, James. I love you, I don't need to fuck you.”

James closed his eyes. He needed Ryan to fuck him before his control snapped and he fled. His voice a hell of a lot calmer than he felt, James growled out, “Tom. Will you just shut up and fuck me.”

As Ryan's hands smoothed over his back, kneading the knots that James didn't even know he had, he continued to speak. “I'm proud of you, James. Bloody proud. Giving yourself to me, after what you have told me. I just want you to know this is the bravest thing I've ever seen. I love you, James.”

James felt Ryan's hands continue to massage his back and yelped when Ryan found a particularly hard muscle. He felt Ryan cautiously move lower, taking his time as he slowly got closer to James' arse.

“Are you sure, James?”

James moaned softly at his lover's talented touch. Shifting on the bed, James rubbed his cock against the sheet as he opened his legs wider for his lover. “Please, Tom. I want you.”

“OK. But if you want me to stop, the safe word is 'banana'.”

James surprised himself by chuckling. “Do I want to know why?”

Ryan didn't answer him and instead he continued to knead James' arse. James couldn't stop the whimper as he felt his arse spread open for the first time. As he felt Ryan lick a strip along his crack, James gasped at the sensation. He found himself wriggling as Ryan lapped at his entrance, and felt Ryan hold his hips still. 

James froze as memory crashed into his arousal and snuffed it out. _No! Please don't. He struggled as they held him down, knowing what was about to happen_. Unconsciously, James began to mumble, “No! Please don't.”

Slowly, James came back from the memory to find himself being rocked in Ryan's arms. “James? Please answer me, James.”

“Sorry.”

“Shh, love. You have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have agree ...”

James felt his temper flare. _They wouldn't win_. “Fuck you, Tom.”

“James?”

James could hear the concern in Ryan's voice, and took a deep breath to calm himself. “Please, Tom. I want you to. Just don't hold me down. They ...”

Ryan seemed to look deep into James' eyes, into his soul, before he nodded. “OK. But remember, 'banana'.”

James closed his eyes to concentrate on Ryan's image as he lay back down on his belly. He could, he would, do this. When James felt Ryan's hesitating touch on his arse, he bucked up and growled out. “Fuck me, Tom.”

James heard Ryan's somewhat shaky breath and then James felt himself spread open again, Ryan's tongue returning to touch him. James had never realised how good it felt to be licked there. Oh, he knew Ryan liked it, begged for more when James rimmed him, but James hadn't know it felt so ... “Mmmm.”

As Ryan seemed to grow more confident in his task, James gasped. What the hell! Bloody fuck. That felt ... James had no idea what it felt like, except that it felt amazing. It didn't take long for James to figure out what it was he was enjoying as he felt Ryan's stubble rasp on his delicate skin. The moan he uttered was low and dirty and full of need.

James felt that the moan must have been what Ryan was waiting for, as the tip of his tongue pushed inside of James.

When Ryan curled his tongue and began to thrust in and out of him, James couldn't help but push back for more. It felt so good. He'd never known it could feel so good.

“Please. Tom. Fuck me. I want to feel you.”

James knew that his begging finally convinced Ryan he wanted to do this when Ryan took one final swipe across his opening before carefully pressing a well-lubed fingertip against him. James' breath hitched, the thought of being fucked by Ryan was terrifying him, but he trusted Ryan. The digit being slowly slipped inside him felt huge, even though James knew it wasn't and that he could take it – fuck, Ryan had taken more that one time he had begged James to fist him.

James took a deep breath and tried to relax, before gasping as Ryan crooked his finger and pleasure shot through James' body and a moan was forced from his lips.

“James?”

James almost moaned in frustration - how could Ryan stop, now that James had decided to let Ryan fuck him. He wriggled on the bed and pressed back onto Ryan's finger. “Please, Tom.”

James could feel Ryan slowly began to move his finger in and out of him, grazing his prostate on each pass. He felt Ryan's free hand rub soothingly over his back, and then James gasped as a second finger slipped inside him. As it slowly scissored him open, James began to unashamedly beg. “Tom, please, fuck me now.”

“I won't hurt you, James. I won't fuck you until you are relaxed. Pleasure not pain, love.”

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, James felt three fingers moving easily in and out of his body and pushed back for more when they caught his sweet spot. _God, no wonder Tom loves it when I fuck him._

James whimpered when those fingers were pulled free. He didn't care who heard him, he needed this. He needed Ryan inside of him. Now. He felt Ryan press against him as he asked, “OK, James?”

James shoved back and gasped, “Do it, Tom. I want you. I need you. Please.”

The feel of Ryan's big cock easing inside him in one long, slow thrust until James felt Ryan press against his back was almost too much for him. James flashed back again and had to concentrate on the fact that this was Tom inside him, Tom, his lover, doing this to him and not them. But it was difficult. Being on his belly with a cock up his arse, pinned under a heavy weight, brought all those memories back.

As if from a distance, James felt kisses pressed against his neck and Ryan's worried voice asking, “Are you OK?”

James could feel himself shaking but he refused to use their safe word, even though his panic was growing with every moment that Ryan's cock was buried inside him. He would not surrender, he would not let those bastards win.

Ryan's words sounded faint, but when James felt him start to pull out he understood them. Ryan didn't want to, he would not, hurt him and with that realisation, James knew he could do this. He squeezed hard around Ryan's cock, holding it inside his arse and managed to speak. “Please.”

Ryan paused, still half-buried inside him. “Please what?”

James bucked back against Ryan, gasping as he impaled himself on Ryan's cock. “Fuck me.”

Ryan seemed to pause for a long moment, then he slowly began to move. James felt him slide almost completely out before bottoming out, over and over again. He was obviously angling for James' prostate with each thrust, and the sparks of pleasure shooting along James' nerves were like nothing he had ever felt.

“God, James. You feel so good. So bloody good.”

James squeezed around Ryan and cried out for more, and felt Ryan begin to speed up. It felt so good as Ryan let go and began to pound inside of him, his thrusts twisting so that he hammered into James' prostate with each stroke. It didn't hurt at all but instead it felt so bloody amazing as Ryan moved inside him.

James felt a tightening in his belly and knew he was near, but he never wanted this feeling to end. But when a deep thrust from Ryan stabbed into his prostate, James yelled out as he spurted and shuddered as he came hard.

James felt Ryan continue to thrust inside his spasming arse and then felt pulses of come splatter his insides.

Wincing slightly as he felt Ryan slip out, James felt himself being cleaned and Ryan's gentle kisses pressed against his skin. The gentleness overwhelmed James and he couldn't help the tears that ran down his face.

James felt himself pulled into Ryan's arms, his lover's voice soft and worried. “James? Did I hurt you?”

He couldn't seem to stop crying, so James did the only thing he could think of to reassure his partner, pulling Ryan into a kiss. “I never ... it felt ...” James gave up trying to express himself in words, instead just tugging Ryan back down again. This kiss was hard and needy, as James demanded entrance and was granted it. His tongue swept inside and entwined with Ryan's until they finally broke apart, panting for breath and smiling at each other.

“Tom, love.” James stretched and 'accidentally' rubbed against his lover, smiling as he heard Ryan's moan. “I have just realised what I've been missing out on all these years.”

Ryan's expression became somewhat wary as he cautiously replied, “Yes?”

“Not that I'm going to give up fucking that fine arse of yours.”

Ryan sounded affronted by that suggestion, “Damn right you're not!”

James raised an eyebrow at the interruption. “If you've quite finished?” He paused but when Ryan remained silent, even though the stubborn look hadn't left his face, James continued, “I was thinking we could try this again?”

Ryan smiled and kissed James again, his breath hot against James' skin as he spoke. “Making love to you was just perfect, James, of course I don't mind swapping.” Ryan paused in obvious thought for a moment, “Um, James. That is just occasionally, right.”

James chuckled, “You really are a pushy bottom, aren't you love?”

“Just the way you like it, James.”

James chuckled again, “I don't suppose I can disagree with that.” Sobering, James looked deep into Ryan's eyes. “Thank you Tom, for everything. I love you, Thomas Ryan.”

He noticed Ryan swallow before he pulled James against him. “I love you too, James.”

James snuggled contently against his lover, smiling when he felt Ryan wrap an arm around him and kiss his hair.

“I've decided what my favourite present was.”

James blinked sleepily at his lover, “And you feel the need to tell me this now because?”

Ryan grinned. “Because it is your trust, James.”

James slowly smiled before pulling Ryan down for a kiss, “Happy Christmas, Tom.”


End file.
